


Sunrise, Sunset

by Bratling



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Engame fixer, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-24 05:55:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12006456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bratling/pseuds/Bratling
Summary: An entry into the 2017 Winter Picture Prose that turned huge. Post-Endgame. Kathryn is determined to move on with her life. She isn't the only one. Eventually J/C.





	1. Beginning of Peace

 

 

Sunrise, Sunset

by Bratling

 

Disclaimer: If you think these characters belong to me, you're sadly mistaken. I borrowed them, hugged them, squeezed them, called them George, and then gave them back like a good girl. Star Trek and all it's permutations belong to the estate of Gene Roddenberry, Paramount, and CBS.

 

Author's Note: I know, I know. Picture Prose was months ago, and this remained on my computer unposted while my other one, Future Imperfect, went up. In my defense, Future Imperfect is a lot shorter than Sunrise, Sunset! But now that my last sewing spree is over and I have a couple weeks before I have to start Halloween costumes and new Sunday clothes for the Primary Program at church, I have a bit of time to post!

 

I swore I wouldn't write this. I had a dozen good reasons why I should give this away, and I actually tried to do just that. But plot bunnies can be rabid, vicious, pernicious little things and this one has been gnawing at my ankles. So my other stories are back burnered until I get this out. For the record, I hate C/7. It makes absolutely no sense that Chakotay would flip flop from barely tolerating her to dating her so fast. Especially since he trusts the Borg about as far as he can throw them. He only trusts them to try and either kill his people or assimilate them.

 

But in this post-Endgame story, C/7 is required, at least at the beginning. It will be J/C at the end, and I suppose this could be considered a baby fic if you squint because Kathryn is insistent that she's moving on with her life. In an era where medical science has advanced to the point where the average life expectancy is 120, it's not unreasonable to think that women can have children well into their fifties if not longer. Even now, it's not unheard of for women to have babies in their late forties.

 

Small mentions of events occurring in Nemesis and I've snatched a few little things from the post-Endgame books.

 

My thanks to MiaCooper, Wendy, Sarah, and TnJAGAz for betaing.

 

Rating: PG-13 for language

 

~*~*~*~

 

“ _I’m not a very good gardener (my husband, Ed, was the one who enjoyed that part of our home), and I recently noticed that a carelessly placed brick had squashed a pansy flat. But part of the pansy was still peeking out from under the edge of the brick; and over the next few weeks, that pansy put its energies into creeping sideways around the edge of the brick, pushing its short shoots into the air and sunlight, and blossoming in its friendly purple and gold. When I moved the brick, the pansy’s stem was crooked; but, oh, its flower was as glorious as those next to it. This pansy chose life. It experienced adversity, but it chose life. It experienced crippling, but it chose life. It could not have been blamed or faulted for giving up under the brick, but it chose life.”_

_\--Chieko N. Okazaki_

 

~*~*~*~

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**Chapter 1:**

**Beginning of Peace**

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

" **It is a curious sensation: the sort of pain that goes mercifully beyond our powers of feeling. When your heart is broken, your boats are burned: nothing matters any more.  
** It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace." **  
\--George Bernard Shaw,** _**The Heartbreak House** _

 

_**~*~*~*~** _

 

Debriefings were over. The Ex-Maquis, including Tom, had been freed, commended for their service, and offered the chance to continue their Starfleet careers. Seven had been offered a commission under her legal name contingent upon her completion of further training. Icheb had settled nicely into his second year at the Academy and been taken in by the Parises.

 

Things hadn't turned out so well for the Equinox survivors. All of them had been court martialed for their part in the genocide of the Ankari. They were currently serving what was left of a ten year sentence at hard labor in New Fort Leavenworth Military Prison in Kansas, with their two years on Voyager counted as time served. All of them had lost their commissions, benefits, and pay as well. It was only Kathryn's reports that kept them from receiving life without parole. A lot had happened in the ten months since they'd been home.

 

Kathryn sighed, fiddled with her coffee cup, and turned to look out the window. Things hadn't worked out as she had hoped with Chakotay, but she'd made friends with his sister. In all honesty, she was simply building on the relationship Sekaya had developed with Phoebe and her mother while they'd been gone. Even with that solid friendship, part of her wanted to run. She was supposed to be meeting with Sekaya for lunch today, and Kathryn just knew she'd want to discuss Chakotay's upcoming nuptials with Seven. It was a nice family-friendly restaurant and she'd selected a quiet corner booth. It was close enough to Starfleet headquarters for her to walk there.

 

Leave was currently on the table for her. The Romulan crisis was over and she'd been informed she could easily take leave for six months without repercussions. The promotion hadn't been that much of a surprise -- with her experience, apparently, they needed her in the diplomatic corps more than they needed her on the bridge of a starship. She was tired -- tired to the bone. She'd spent several months in therapy dealing with seven years as the captain of a stranded starship and in some ways she was just done. At least in the Alpha Quadrant, she had back-up, but the desk job was all she could handle at the moment. Besides, having an earth-bound post was better with her current plans.

 

Sekaya plopped down into the seat in front of her. "Hey," she smiled.

 

Kathryn dredged up a warm smile. "Hey, Sekaya."

 

"I've told you before that you can call me Kaya," she scolded gently. "Chakotay always hated any attempts to shorten his name, but I'm not him."

 

Kathryn snorted. "Don't I know it! Tom called him "Chak" once, and he shot him a glare that could've melted duranium." In a lot of ways though, Sekaya reminded her of Chakotay--at least the Chakotay of a few years ago with whom she could discuss anything and be understood. This new Chakotay, well, she wasn't sure she understood him at all.

 

Sekaya tossed her long, dark braid over her shoulder. "Well, my brother can be a moron sometimes. Like his marrying the Ice Princess. As if _that's_ going to last," she finished with a snort.

 

Kathryn felt her lips curl into a tiny half-smile. It was nice to have even his sister on her side. "He's changed somehow, Kaya... and he had his chance."

 

"He's changed?" Sekaya gave her a wide-eyed look. "Since his first letter home, it was damned clear that he had a thing for you!"

 

"He did... once," she admitted. "We had an understanding that once we got home we'd try and make a deeper relationship work. Perhaps I took too long to get us home." She shook her head. "A few months before we got here, he started changing; he didn't want to spend time with me anymore."

 

Sekaya glared at her. "You got them home faster than anyone could expect! Why didn't you ask him earlier?"

 

"We couldn't while we were serving on the same ship," she answered with a sigh. "I knew that when we got home, any hint of impropriety on my part would compromise any attempts to help Chakotay and his former crew -- and I was right. Command had more than enough to crucify me what with how I'd bent and twisted regs to get us home. What _really_ fell under scrutiny, though, was my relationship with him. Since nothing actually happened, all they had to go on was scuttlebutt, but if there _had_ been any evidence, my lobbying for the Maquis wouldn't have held any weight. As it is, all of them have a future now that includes more than the inside of a cell at Leavenworth or a place at a penal colony. And it was a near thing."

 

"I knew the regs can be strict--" Sekaya began.

 

"Technically, they were supposed to be my prisoners. If Chakotay and I had begun a relationship, they could have gotten me for fraternization, undue command influence, providing aid and comfort to the enemy in time of war... And with all the pressures out there, it wouldn't have lasted. We would have been torn apart, and I needed him more as my executive officer than as a lover." Kathryn picked up her mug and cradled it in her hands.

 

"And so that brings us to my brother being a moron." Sekaya signaled for menus and things were quiet for a few minutes while they ordered.

 

"I never promised him anything, Kaya," she said softly as she slowly shredded a paper napkin. "Our understanding was barely spoken of. I knew that chances were we could spend our lives out there, but I'd hoped to be home a lot sooner than that."

 

"But when you got home," Sekaya prodded.

 

"I told him I loved him and wanted to marry him and start a family. I was pretty damn blunt about it, too." Kathryn pinched the bridge of her nose.

 

Sekaya gave her an incredulous look. "He turned you down?"

 

She nodded. "Flat. Said it was too late. Six months before we got home, he barely tolerated Seven. By the time we got home, he'd gone on four dates with her." She sighed. "If it had been anyone else, I could have just been happy for them, but I _mothered_ Seven. I treated her as if she were my _daughter_ ; and she repaid me by going after the man I've wanted for years but wasn't allowed to have. Damnit, the whole crew knew how I felt about him. There were betting pools on our relationship for _years_. And Chakotay's marrying my daughter is both wrong and weird. To make it even worse, he's never really trusted her because she was Borg. He's sworn for years that the only thing you can trust a Borg to do is maim, destroy, and assimilate."

 

Sekaya shook her head. "I'll torture him for you in the way only siblings can do," she offered. "He's an idiot. I'm guessing he hasn't figured out exactly how the land lies here. About some things, he can be as dumb as a brick."

 

"I've lost two fiances and Chakotay. Since marriage has never worked out for me, I'm going a different route," Kathryn declared. "Obviously, romantic love isn't in my future, but I still want a family. I don't need a husband for that. I'm going to a fertility clinic. There's one attached to Starfleet Medical I can use that has donor sperm in stasis. I'll have children before it's too late without _him_ . I'm no longer willing to sacrifice both my present _and_ future for something that can never be."

 

"What about adoption?" Sekaya asked as their meals were delivered.

 

Kathryn shook her head. "I've tried that in a way. Seven didn't work out, and Kes tried to kill all of us. While there aren't any guarantees, I 'm running out of time to have a biological child." They busied themselves with eating for a few minutes. and filled the rest of the meal with inconsequential chatter.

 

After the tab had been paid. Sekaya gave her a bright smile. "I'll get B'Elanna in on torturing our brother," she offered. "He's a moron, but he's _our_ moron."

 

Kathryn stood and shook her head. "He's made his own choices," she stated quietly. "He knows how I feel and I won't do anything that could be construed as harassment."

 

Sekaya hugged her. "Don't give up on love yet, Kathryn. Promise me."

 

She sighed and hugged her back. "I suppose."

 

"It'll be all right," Sekaya promised.

 

Kathryn just shrugged. "Tell Joseph I said hi, and give the kids hugs for me."

 

"Taya wants to come up and spend the day with you, " Sekaya told her with a smile. "Something about an appointment to the Academy."

 

Kathryn beamed. That she could do and do happily. "She needs a recommendation from someone in Command who isn't related to her so that she can take the entrance exam; I'll be happy to do it." Sekaya hugged her again and they parted ways. Briskly she left the restaurant and headed back to headquarters. Perhaps she'd take some of that leave and go home for a week or two. Maybe buy a new house that would be good to raise a family in. And if the pressures of raising children as a single parent while juggling them with being an Admiral got too much, she could always reserve her commission for a few years until they started school.

 

She could do this. Yes, Chakotay's marrying Seven hurt like hell, but she'd survived heartbreak before and she'd survive now. She grimaced slightly. She, alone, was responsible for her own happiness and she was determined to make the most of her life. She could have a family still and wouldn't end up like the old Admiral -- alone, bitter, and used up without a family to love.

 

~*~*~*~

 

Kathryn lay on the couch with her arm over her eyes listening to the pounding on the door. "Go away, Chakotay," she yelled again. "Don't make me call Security!"

 

"Not until we talk!"

 

She sighed and pushed herself up on the couch. She didn't want to see him, but if she didn't open the door, sooner or later, Security _would_ show up. She was still living in officers' quarters--it was just easier while the media was still hounding her trail. "Computer disengage lock and open the door," and it slid open. "There's nothing to talk about, Chakotay," she insisted evenly as he stood silhouetted in the doorway.

 

"Yes, there is." He walked in and without waiting for an invitation sat down in her armchair.

 

"No, there isn't," she argued quietly. "You started pushing me away months before we got home and it's been almost a year. We've hardly spoken in that time. And if it's about your wedding, you've already received my response--repeatedly."

 

"I won't take no for an answer, Kathryn," he informed her with a scowl.

 

"You'll have to," was her response. "I'm not interested in your wedding. Don't ask me to come to it again, Chakotay. Don't ask me to officiate or stand up for you again either. I can't and I won't. If you really have to have me at your wedding to get married, you need to ask yourself why and maybe reconsider just whom you're marrying."

"But Kathryn -- " he protested."

"But nothing. You made your bed; now you can lie in it. You're a big boy and you made it clear that you don't want me. We're barely friends these days. I'm building a new life without you in it."

 

He just sat and looked at her. "At least talk to Seven -- "

 

"No," she said softly. "It would be inappropriate. I cut off contact for a _reason_. If I can manage it, I won't even be in the system when you're getting married. The rest of the crew understands; you two will just have to get over it."

 

"Can't we at least still be friends?" His voice was soft and pleading.

 

"I told you before we left Voyager that friendship wasn't enough anymore," she reminded him firmly. "You didn't want me then, and it is how it is. Leave, Chakotay. Before I really do call security. You don't want that on your record, _Captain._ "

 

Without another word, he stood and left her apartment. Quickly she made her way to her secure comm unit. It didn't take long to place a call. She'd gone home early with a migraine, so her aide would still be in the office. "Cap -- Admiral!" Petty Officer Tal's smiling face popped up on the screen.

 

"Celes, I need you to do something for me."

 

"Of course."

 

"All calls from Captain Chakotay are to be denied, and if he comes to the office, you're not to let him through," she ordered.

 

"Aye, Admiral. Permission to speak freely?"

 

She allowed a ghost of a smile to cross her face. "Go ahead."

 

"Is he being an ass again? On the lower decks, we knew he was seeing Seven before the Admiral came, but nobody thought it would go this far. I just figured he was feeling guilty about the mutiny and he was never the same after we were rescued from Quarra. I saw the way he looked at that Norvalian. I just figured he was jealous -- not that he had anything to be jealous about, since Norvalians are a single-sex species."

 

"Why is it that you never studied psychology, Celes?" she asked, her smile deepening. "You'd be good at it and make a fine counselor."

 

"I couldn't do that, Admiral," she replied, a blush spreading across her cheeks. "I'd need to be smarter for that."

 

"Just because your strong suit isn't mathematics doesn't mean you're stupid. I'd hate to lose such a good aide, but you need to start looking into other avenues. Think about it, Celes. Play to your strengths. Perhaps you also need to check out the Crewman to Admiral program so you can do something about the way you look at Harry." Kathryn hid a grin at the startled look on Celes' face. She'd noticed the looks between them quite some time ago, but it was strictly against fraternization regs for officers to become romantically involved with enlisted personnel.

 

"I'll think about it," she promised.

 

"I'm going to be putting in for leave next week, but I'll let you where I can be reached in case something urgent comes up. And Petty Officer, I'm talking bulkheads blowing, red alert, we're-being-fired-upon emergency, understand?"

 

Celes nodded crisply. "Got it."

 

"Good. Janeway out." Kathryn sighed and slumped into her chair. She wasn't sure where she was going just yet, but Deanna had invited her to make use of a beach house on Betazed whenever she needed to get away. They'd been friends for years, but with so many of their contemporaries dead between Wolf 359 and the Dominion War, Deanna was one of the few female friends in the service she had left. The best part was that no one would look for her there and she needed some time to think.

 

~*~*~*~

 

"She won't talk to me, B'Elanna." Chakotay slumped into at armchair in the Parises living room, a sleeping Miral cuddled on his lap.

 

"I can't say that I blame her," B'Elanna said with some asperity. "I applaud her restraint. If it were me, I'd have ripped your arm off and beaten you with it. If you survived that, I'd show off the bat'leth skills I managed to acquire. You're a petaQ, Chakotay. Everyone knows it. Sekaya told me what you did."

 

He gave her a confused look. "What did I do?"

 

 

She picked up the baby and settled her on her shoulder. "You mean I have to spell it out for you?"

 

 

He just shrugged. He honestly didn't know what he'd done. Yes, he was marrying Seven, but he didn't know why that should matter at all. "C'mon, B'Ela. I really don't know."

 

 

She sighed. "Let's see... This ringing any bells? We got home, Kathryn called you into her ready room, told you she loved you, wanted to marry you and start a family and you told her it was too late."

 

 

"Yeah, so? I dangled after her for seven years. I have the right to have a life." He scowled at her.

 

 

"Nobody is disputing that. Hell, Chakotay, they teach first year cadets the fraternization regs. You spent over twenty years in Starfleet before you left for the Maquis! Those of us who knew educated everybody else. We all knew she wouldn't even consider a relationship with you as long as you were on the same ship. It's against regs! " She shifted the baby slightly and patted her back. "Her family's been 'Fleet as long as there was a 'Fleet and they were US Navy before that. You can't ask her to be anything but what she is; she never promised you anything until you both could be outside her chain of command. She fought damn hard for us and it's only on her word and good reputation that we're free right now. By the time we connected with HQ, it was general knowledge that any suggestion of impropriety and they'd crucify _all_ of us! We erased any hint of rumor that the two of you were involved from the computers. The betting pools were purged. By the time we got home, there was no trace of _anything_ that the brass could stick to her."

 

Chakotay flushed, shame suddenly coursing through him. He'd known most of those things but had chosen to ignore them. "Still doesn't explain why she won't talk to me anymore."

 

B'Elanna muttered a few choice Klingon curse words under her breath. He only knew she was swearing by the tone of voice because he didn't speak Klingon. "I guess I _do_ have to spell it out for you, then, petaQ. Kathryn Janeway loves you. You broke her heart and then asked her to perform your marriage ceremony to someone else. She refused, so you asked her to be your best man. When she refused that, too, you continued to rub more salt into the wound by trying to get her to agree to come to your wedding. You want to marry the Borg Bimbo? Fine. Just don't ask her to watch."

 

"She's not a bimbo," he insisted defensively. "She's an innocent! We haven't even..."

 

B'Elanna just shook her head and left the room. "You talk some sense into him, Tom," he heard her hiss.

 

Tom ambled into the room and plopped down on the couch. "Woman troubles?" he asked amiably.

 

 

"Best friend troubles," Chakotay grumbled.

 

 

"She's a woman, too," Tom pointed out. "I've known her for longer than anybody from Voyager, Tuvok included."

 

 

Surprise filled him. "You have?"

 

 

Tom stood and grabbed an album from a nearby shelf. "'Course. Our fathers were friends and she was Dad's protegee. Served under him a couple times when she was a junior officer, too. I was about five when I met her the first time. You know how it is, old man. Officers of similar rank socialize with each other. Mrs. Janeway and Mom are still friends." He flipped open the album to a specific page and dumped it in Chakotay's lap. "That's the summer before her plebe year."

 

 

Chakotay examined the picture. A very young, curly-headed, gap-toothed Tom Paris stood next to a teenage Kathryn Janeway. Freckles dusted her face, her auburn hair was longer than he'd ever seen it, and laughter danced in her eyes. It was an expression he hadn't seen often on her face over the past few years. "I never realized," he muttered.

 

"There's a reason why she lets me get away with more than most junior officers," Tom observed. "I'm practically her annoying kid brother. I certainly tagged along often enough back then." He grinned. "She was my first crush, too. I was about twelve and she was an ensign under my father's command."

 

Chakotay eyed him, but said nothing. For some strange reason, he felt... jealous. Of a twelve-year-old Tom Paris.

 

"I saw her after she and dad were rescued from the Cardassians," Tom continued quietly. "She withdrew then, and it took months of counseling for either one of them to be anything like normal. And after her dad and fiance were killed, nobody was sure if she'd ever come back." He paused for a few minutes. "When we did see her again, she was different -- sorta like how she became in our last six months out there. And now..." he trailed off. "She's protecting herself, Chakotay. Protecting herself from you."

 

"She doesn't need to protect herself from me," he protested.

 

 

"Doesn't she?" Tom asked mildly. "Oh, and Chakotay? You're not getting what you think you are with Seven."

 

Chakotay gave him a puzzled frown. "What do you mean?"

 

"You and she haven't... right?" Tom leaned back into the cushions.

 

"Yeah. What of it?" Chakotay asked.

 

"My guess is that you haven't seen her naked yet."

 

Chakotay glared at him. "So?"

 

"What was my secondary position on Voyager?" Tom asked idly.

 

"Medic, but what does that have to do with anything?"

 

"It means that I've seen every member of the crew in various states of... undress at one time or another."

 

Chakotay scowled and made as if to stand up.

 

"I'm just saying that her remaining implants are a lot more extensive than you know and you might not like what you're getting." Tom gave him a lazy smile. "Just a friendly warning. About the Captain, though... now I'm gonna tell you what you told me when B'Elanna and me finally figured things out. I know what happened between the two of you. She's the closest thing to a sister I have left since mine were killed in the war. You hurt her again, and there won't be enough of you left to bury, understand?" His blue eyes bored into Chakotay, and there was no trace of the sometimes juvenile jokester he'd come to know on Voyager.

 

"I -- " he swallowed hard, his throat tight. "I'd better go." Chakotay stood and made his way to the door. "Tell B'Elanna I'll see her and the baby later." Without another word, he slipped outside and started walking towards the transport center. He didn't know what to think anymore. Perhaps he was an idiot. Sekaya certainly thought so. And none of his other friends had been shy in telling him what a moron he was. Hell, even Mike Ayala had had some choice words for him. Ayala and his wife and sons were living in Vermont. Word had it they'd be shipping out on the Enterprise after the repairs were completed. He was starting to feel as stupid as they'd all labeled him.

 

But he loved Seven... didn't he? His head hurt. Tiredly, he quickened his step. The sooner he got home, the sooner he could take an analgesic and lie down.

 

~*~*~*~

 

Wanting and having were different things. Seven was discovering that for herself. She had wanted Chakotay because he was handsome and kind. Because the Captain liked him and he was the most powerful male on the ship. She'd heard some of the other women talking about him, and she'd heard the rumors that he and the Captain more than liked each other. But she'd never really seen any signs of that. Then again, though she'd never admit it even to herself, Seven just wasn't good at reading body language. She was downright terrible at it, to be honest. True, she had enhanced senses, but she didn't always use them and was rather inclined to take what people said at face value.

 

She wasn't sure anymore about much of anything. She was marrying the most eligible bachelor on Voyager ---- shouldn't she be happy? But she wasn't. She was uncertain and nervous. Because of the reactions of others to her since their return, she had insisted they refrain from copulation until after the wedding. The reactions of fear and disgust people gave her when they saw her and especially her visible implants, had prompted the decision -- there were many, many more under the suit. If he saw them, she was sure he would reject her; her hold on him only went so far.

 

She had wanted what she'd had with Axum in Unimatrix Zero. She had wanted that sense of connection and she'd been sure Chakotay could provide it. They'd touched minds in the beginning, and she'd ensured they would again. After the marriage, after he became hers, she could easily reinforce the connection. She had initiated it again once to make sure he would return her advances. Initial responses of the hologram had proven to her he would not if left to his own devices.

 

Over the past year, she had discovered how unpredictable emotions were. Only intervention from Starfleet Medical had kept her from expressing the anger and frustration that came so easily to her now in unacceptable ways. The counseling had been mandatory for every returning member of the crew, but for her it was much, much more extensive. Her pending Starfleet commission was, in part, contingent upon weekly counseling sessions. She had rebelled at first, but now saw it as continuing lessons in humanity.

 

Seven absently acknowledged her aunt's presence before returning to her thoughts. She had briefly considered having her emotional dampener turned back on, but it hadn't been possible. The Borg had never designed it to be flipped on and off with the flick of a switch. People were still mystifying to her. It was hard for her to remember that, as individuals, they had wants, needs, and interests completely separate from her own. It was easier to bulldoze through and assume their wants and needs were the same as her own. And it was also far easier to assume their interests and hers were the same. Conversations were easier that way, too.

 

"Annika?" Irene interrupted her thoughts again.

 

"Yes, Aunt?" Seven attempted to smile.

 

"I know that look--something is bothering you. You had that same look as a little girl when something was wrong." Irene sat down next to her and wrapped her arm around Seven's shoulders.

 

She did her best not to flinch away. Having grown up without touch, physical contact was still hard for her. "I am... uncertain if I should go through with the wedding," she admitted softly.

 

Irene sighed. "I thought this might happen," she admitted. "Chakotay is a fine man, but he's a great deal older than you are, Annie. The two of you don't seem to have much in common, either. And, well, there isn't much of a spark there."

 

Seven looked down and studied her fingers. "I may have... made him be interested in me," she confessed hesitantly.

 

Her aunt gave her a sharp look. "Why would you do that?" she demanded. "And _how_ in the universe _did_ you do that?"

 

She flushed. It was hard to admit and more than a little embarrassing. "I created a holographic version of him using his logs on Voyager and he didn't want anything to do with me until I reprogrammed him." She swallowed, hard, before continuing. "He has a neural transceiver in his head from a previous encounter with liberated Borg. I slipped some targeted nanoprobes into his tea that were programmed to make him notice me and ignore other women through the transceiver."

 

Irene scowled at her. "That's illegal, immoral, and unethical, Annika. I was assured you were more than familiar with our laws and mores. Captain Janeway assured the committee that you had been given a copy of Starfleet regulations and the basics of Federation Law." She sighed. "It never occurred to anyone that you would go against both so easily.... I suppose we should have remembered that any moral education would have stopped for you at six years old. Even then, you were a spoiled child accustomed to getting your own way. Your parents tried for years to have a child; you were their miracle and they gave in to you far too often. They were going to leave you with me, but you pitched such a fit they brought you along."

 

Seven had never quite gotten over her anger at her parents for bringing her along. "It was _their_ fault I was assimilated," she muttered.

 

"It was bad luck," Irene corrected her. "If they're still alive, they're still drones----you're lucky Captain Janeway rescued you; most captains would have either phasered you or tossed you out an airlock. The common thought is that you're better off dead than assimilated." She stood and put her hands on her hips. "Back to the subject at hand. Annika Kirsten Hanson, what you have done is absolutely _wrong_. "

 

"I--" she tried to interrupt.

 

Her aunt stopped her with a glare. "It is _illegal_ to use the image of a living person for a hologram without written permission from the person. Did you have sex with the hologram? And why did you think slipping nanoprobes into his tea, thereby drugging him, was a good idea?"

 

"It wasn't a drug," she insisted stubbornly.

 

"Same difference," Irene admonished, her scowl deepening. "Now, _did you have sex with the hologram_?"

 

Seven, herself was accustomed to bluntness. It was the easiest way to get her point across. Rarely, however, had she had the same bluntness aimed at her. "I slept with him, but no, we didn't have sex," she admitted softly. "I was not ready. And now----"

 

"Have you had sex with Captain Chakotay?" Irene demanded.

 

"No," she admitted again. "I insisted we wait until after the wedding; my control over him isn't absolute, and I've seen how people react to my visible implants."

 

Her aunt started to pace. "It's a damn good thing you haven't," she snapped.

 

It was impossible to miss the anger radiating from her, even for Seven. "Why?" she asked. "I did nothing wrong; I simply ensured he would notice me."

 

Irene let loose a string of invective that had at least nine different languages in it. Seven was vaguely impressed and wondered if she should take notes--and how _had_ her aunt managed to learn how to curse in Romulan? "And yet you admit you have some control over him. Tell me, _Annika_ how is it _any_ different from what the Borg did to _you_?"

 

She paled, because she hadn't thought of it like that. "I--"

 

"It isn't! The Borg stole your free will and individuality, and you have done the same to Chakotay. Worse still, if you had slept with him in this condition, it would be _rape_ . In some ways, what you've done isn't any better." Irene stopped pacing and glared at her. "Your wedding is in two weeks, Annika. You have two weeks to undo what you've done and tell him. After that, we're going to Security where you _will_ give a full confession. _Is that clear?"_

 

"I do not wish to," she countered stiffly. She was afraid of being locked up, and she thought confessing would lead to just that.

 

"You made choices, Annika." Her voice was both soft and deadly. "Choices have consequences. It's something you would have learned years ago if you hadn't been assimilated. I'm not asking you; I'm _telling_ you. You _will_ do this. If you don't, I'll be talking to Captain Chakotay myself and taking him to Voyager's EMH to reverse what you did. I want you to _learn_ from this so there isn't a repeat."

 

Seven swallowed, hard. "I will comply," she agreed unsteadily.

 

"Two weeks," Irene reminded her. "And no lies. You'll tell him _exactly_ what you did and reverse it. And with any luck, you'll be sentenced to counseling and community service. Most likely, Starfleet won't want you, so you'll have to look for other work after you've paid your debt to society."

 

Seven sighed and studied her lap. For all the world, she felt like a young child who had just been spanked. With her artificial barriers gone, scoldings hurt more than they used to, and the last person she wanted to disappoint was her aunt. Aside from Captain Janeway, who had cut off all contact, Aunt Irene was the closest thing to a mother she had. Perhaps it would be better to comply sooner rather than later. She was to meet Chakotay that night for a date. It would certainly be more efficient than waiting.

 

~*~*~*~

 


	2. Understanding

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**Chapter 2:**

**Understanding**

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

  
  


“ _ **Yes, I understand why things had to happen this way. I understand his reason for causing me pain. But mere understanding does not chase away the hurt. It does not call upon the sun when dark clouds have loomed over me. Let the rain come then if it must come! And let it wash away the dust that hurt my eyes!”  
**_

_**\--- Jocelyn Soriano, Mend My Broken Heart** _

  
  


~*~*~*~

  
  


Chakotay hurried towards the Security office. He'd gotten a comm from Seven asking him to meet her there, and to be honest, he was worried. Had she gotten into trouble? He had no idea what was going on. She had been distant lately, and he'd barely seen her in the last week. It didn't help that Kathryn was gone, and nobody would tell him where she went. Her aide, Petty Officer Tal, wouldn't even take a message for him. He slowed down as he reached the door and walked inside. Absently, he nodded at the Lieutenant standing guard and headed to the front desk. The Lieutenant Commander at the desk stood. "Follow me, please, Captain."

  
  


"Can you tell me what this is about?" he asked.

  
  


"You'll find out in a few minutes," the Commander promised. "I must say, this is the most... unique case we've had in a while. Then again--" He started to say something but must have thought better of it, because he stopped himself.

  
  


Chakotay desperately wanted to know what was wrong; he didn't know anything and it was getting on his nerves. He drew in a deep breath and let it out, calming himself as he followed the Commander to a small room at the back of the office. Seven was seated at a table with a full Commander in a security uniform seated opposite her. He started towards her, but was stopped by the Commander. "I'm Commander Fuller. Captain, this young lady has informed us of a crime she perpetrated against you, but refused to tell us what, exactly, she did before you arrived."

  
  


He frowned. "What did you do, Seven?" He could feel anger start to burn in his gut, but he forced it down. No sense in losing his temper over what could be nothing.

  
  


Seven studied her hands. "Captain Chakotay has a Borg neural transceiver in his head," she began without preamble. "I desired to form a liaison with him, but research with a holographic version of him programmed with his personal logs proved that he would not comply. So I dosed him with nanoprobes to activate the transceiver so that he would comply with my desires."

  
  


"You did _what_?" Chakotay barely stopped himself from screaming. It was his worst nightmare come true. Instantly, he considered how thankful he was he hadn't slept with her. It would have made the violation that much worse.

  
  


Commander Fuller's voice was deceptively mild. "Why did you want the Captain here for this little confession?"  
  
  


"It was more efficient," Seven said woodenly. "My aunt gave me two weeks to... come clean... before she reported it."

  
  


"Did you have permission to make the hologram?"

  
  


"No," she replied. "I did not have permission to access his personal logs, either. They were easy to get into."

  
  


"And did you have sex with the Captain  _or_ his hologram?" Captain Fuller was eyeing her as if she were a particularly nasty bug.

  
  


"No, sir," she muttered. "My control isn't absolute. I was afraid of how he would react to my remaining implants."

  
  


"You should be grateful for that, Miss." Commander Fuller stood and nodded to Chakotay. "Captain, if we could discuss this in the other room."

  
  


Wordlessly, Chakotay nodded and followed. As soon as the door shut behind them, he was led to a chair. "I want to press charges, if I can," he said quietly.

  
  


Commander Fuller nodded, blew out a heavy sigh, and ran his hand through his thinning, sandy blond hair. "Mind control. I'll have to talk to my superior about what she's charged with, but I'll see to it. If I were you, I'd get myself to Starfleet Medical right away and see about having that damned device removed from my skull. How did it get there, anyway? Partial assimilation? I followed Voyager's exploits and I know some of your officers went through that."

  
  


Chakotay sighed. "Sort of," he acknowledged. "We ran into a group of freed Borg in our third year and I got a serious head injury. Voyager was days away and they stuck it in there in order to be able to heal me. They lied about taking it out, and our EMH was reluctant to mess with it because of the location when we discovered it was still there at my next medical."

  
  


"Can't say that I blame him," Fuller conceded. "Now, I need your thumbprint here--" He held out a PADD. "And we'll make sure that Miss Hanson doesn't bother you again."

  
  


Chakotay pressed his thumb on the proffered PADD. "Thank you, Commander."

  
  


Fuller gave him a ghost of a smile. "All part of the service. I can't give you orders, Captain, but please get yourself over to Starfleet medical and see one of the neurosurgeons there to get the damn thing out. The Fleet can't afford for you to leave it there if you can be controlled with it."

  
  


Chakotay simply inclined his head and stood up. He'd been uneasy about the transceiver from the beginning, but over the years, he'd almost forgotten it was there. It was one of those things--like the spinal clamps in Kathryn's back--that had been put off dealing with until 'later'. He walked out the door and towards the nearest transport station. Later had obviously come, and he had to get it out  _now!_ Or at least as soon as he could get in to see a doctor. He'd deal with the other fallout after he could be sure he was no longer being controlled. He needed to make sure his thoughts, feelings, and actions were his own before he could move forward. Somehow, he'd straighten this out... and then try and get his friendship with Kathryn back on track.

  
  


~*~*~*~

  
  


Kathryn buried her toes in the sand as she lounged in a low beach chair. Betazed was lovely this time of year, and the rebuilding efforts had been completed some time ago. It had been a long time since she'd done what she was doing now---exactly nothing. True, there was a book and a fruity drink beside her, but she'd been ignoring them in favor of digging her toes in the sand and lounging around. It was relaxing to sit listening to the sounds of the ocean and the laughter of children as they played in both the surf and the sand. Nobody was depending on her and the biggest decision she had to make was what she'd eat for lunch that afternoon. For the first time in years, she didn't have to put on a brave face and pretend everything was fine; sometimes it still felt like she had to do that with both Starfleet and her family.

  
  


Hell, it seemed like she'd been pretending so hard that sometimes it was true--she _was_ fine. For a moment or two anyway. It had been a long time since she'd felt like anyone cared enough for her to _not_ be fine. It seemed like people cared more about what she could _do_ for them than actually cared about _her_. She took a deep breath, held it, let it out and then started focusing on the sounds of the ocean. She'd long since decided that her favorite planet-bound sound was the ocean. It was soothing listening to the waves go out and in. It was almost better than a bath... but not quite.

  
  


She closed her eyes as she relaxed into the chair, and turned her face up to the sun. The warmth felt so good after seven years of climate controlled starship. Sure, there'd been shore leaves, but most of the time, she'd been too busy for more than a short trip to the surface of a planet. Of course, there'd been New Earth--but she refused to remember that time. For years, it had been her escape, until Chakotay had decided that Seven was who he wanted to spend his life with. It was just too painful now to remember those precious weeks so long ago.

  
  


"Kathryn?"

  
  


"Hmm?" she cracked open her eyes to see Deanna Troi--or was it Riker, now--setting down a beach chair, and sending a little boy out to play. "Is that the little brother you told me about?"

  
  


Deanna smiled and sat down beside her. "He was quite a surprise! Mother thought she was finished with having children, and yet--here Ian is. I'm surprised you haven't met him yet."

  
  


Kathryn snorted. "Yes, well, the suite you gave me is fairly isolated. And with your mother trying to mother me every chance she gets, I figure she'll start nagging me about grandchildren fairly soon."

  
  


She could tell Deanna was trying not to laugh. "Well, you've been gone for seven years and had to take care of 150 people. Let her coddle you a bit. I swear, it's easier than fighting it and you won't be here that long."

  
  


"Let me guess, she's started in on you and Will about grandchildren," Kathryn said with a wry grin.

  
  


"At the wedding," Deanna rolled her eyes.

  
  


"Well, with my plans, she'll get some soon," Kathryn said quietly. "I'm paying a visit to Starfleet Medical's fertility clinic after I get back to Earth. We're getting older, Deanna. Those of us left from our generation in the 'Fleet need to have children soon if we're going to have them at all."

  
  


"And what about love? A husband and partner?" Deanna quietly asked. "You've always wanted that."

  
  


Kathryn shrugged. "I didn't get us home in time, I suppose. The only person I can see ever being in that role moved on. I'm not willing to risk my heart again when I still love him, even through he doesn't love me."

  
  


"Don't be so sure of that," Deanna pulled out a PADD and handed it over. "The latest report from the Federation News Service. Jake Sisko is nothing if not an accurate source of news."

  
  


As she started reading the PADD, her breath caught in her throat. "Seven did WHAT?" her voice sounded strange to her ears.

  
  


"Don't give up hope, Kathryn, you told me that he became your best friend. He needs you now more than ever."

  
  


Kathryn swallowed, hard. "It may still be too late, especially with what Seven did. He warned me about her. Hell, even _she_ warned me about her. But I didn't listen. We freed her from the Collective and by hook or by crook, we'd rehabilitate her. It was ultimately my responsibility because the whole fiasco was my decision."

  
  


"Her choices are _not_ your responsibility, Kathryn. You have nothing to be guilty about!" Deanna reached out, took her hand, and squeezed it. "You've done this as long as I've known you, and like with Justin and your father, this isn't your fault."

  
  


"Analyzing me, Counselor?"

  
  


She laughed softly. "No, I just know you. Now, is this Chakotay as amazing as your letters made him sound?"

  
  


"Letters?" Kathryn gave her a puzzled frown. "I never sent you any letters--space in the data stream was too limited."

  
  


"I contacted your mother after we found out you were alive, and she was willing to share," she explained.

  
  


Between Wolf 359 and the Dominion War, there just weren't many female officers left of their generation. Hell, the ranks were thin, period. One of the reasons why her Maquis crewmembers had been so readily accepted was that most of them stayed 'Fleet and Starfleet was in desperate need of qualified personnel. Due to the training they'd received on Voyager, her Maquis had the skills and the qualifications they needed were easily obtained. "It's been a hard decade for all of us," she said with a wry grin.

  
  


"She practically mind raped him, Kate. Starfleet will insist he get counseling, and from what Jake said, the change in his behavior with you and when she started controlling him is about the same time." Deanna tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Don't go out too far, Ian!" she called.

  
  


The dark-haired boy waved in acknowledgment.

  
  


"Mark my words, the man in your letters will come looking for you, and you need to listen to him. He needs you now more than he did after the Teero incident." She stretched and settled more deeply into her lounger.

  
  


"He spent hours in my quarters and practically begged me to let him hold me to convince him that I was still there and alive," Kathryn admitted softly. "For weeks, he brought me peace roses during our weekly dinners. And then one day... it just stopped. He started asking for rainchecks and stopped talking to me about anything other than ship's business."

  
  


"He'll come looking for you, Kate. And if you love him the way I think you do, you won't turn him away," She said with certainty.

  
  


Kathryn snorted. "If he can convince one of my protectors to tell him where I am. He has to get through my former chief engineer and helmsman, an admiral, and two mothers to get to me."

  
  


"You're counting my mother as one of them?" she asked, smiling.

  
  


"You forget, I've heard what she put Will through. The way she's been treating me, she may be worse with Chakotay."

  
  


Deanna raised an eyebrow and commented. "Didn't keep him away for long. If Will had shown up on that weekend we'd planned, though, I swear I would have married him twenty years ago."

  
  


"Did you ever tell your mother that?" she grinned. "Next time she starts asking about grandchildren, you might try reminding her that you would have married Will decades ago and had children already if she hadn't meddled."

  
  


Deanna looked thoughtful. "I never thought of that angle," she admitted. "Mother has 'overprotective, overbearing parent' down to an art form."

  
  


Kathryn laughed and spent a few minutes staring at the waves. "If he does come," she said softly, "if he does come, then perhaps there's a chance--perhaps the older me's sacrifice will mean something." She gave Deanna a wistful smile. "I always scoffed at the notion of 'soul mates' , 'Imzadi', or anything spiritual. But if a human can have an 'Imzadi,' he's mine. We're better together than apart and I swear he's the other half of me."

  
  


Deanna gave her a serious look. "Even after we'd settled into being 'just friends' it didn't take much to reignite the spark that's been there since the moment I laid eyes on Will. If what you're saying is true, and I know you believe it is, then he'll come. You've been friends for over seven years, Kathryn. I'd say that's a pretty solid foundation for a marriage. Don't waste time; as you pointed out, we're not getting any younger."

  
  


"If he comes, I swear I'll marry him the first chance I get. No more waiting," she insisted with a scowl. "And then we'll have to start working on a family. I know he wants children and so do I."

  
  


"How do you know?" She asked, her eyes on her seven-year-old brother.

  
  


"Late night conversations years ago." Kathryn eyed her friend. "Have you and Will talked about it?"

  
  


Deanna shrugged. "Not so much. I know he doesn't want to be like his father; they just didn't get along."

  
  


"Talk to him," Kathryn advised. "After her leg heals, she'll stop nagging so much if there's a little Riker on the way."

  
  


"We'll see," she said noncommittally. "I just hope Mother finishes her physical therapy soon. Inactivity doesn't suit her."

  
  


"She will," Kathryn reached out and took a sip of her drink. "Then you can get back into space." Lwaxana Troi had badly shattered her leg in a shuttle accident a few weeks before, necessitating Deanna to take emergency family leave. With her mother unable to get around, someone had to not only take care of Lwaxana, but Ian as well. She sighed and closed her eyes, settling into the warmth of the day. "I'd forgotten how nice it is to just do nothing for a while."

  
  


"I know. It's not something I get a chance to do often; there always seems to be something that needs done."

  
  


"Not now," Kathryn said with a half-smile.

  
  


"No, not now," Deanna agreed with a small smile of her own. The pair lapsed into silence as they sat in their loungers, listening to the waves roll out and in as they sipped fruity drinks and watched Ian play in the surf and build sand castles.

  
  


~*~*~*~

  
  


Chakotay was having problems settling down. He stood and started pacing restlessly. Time spent with the counselor was the order of the day. Well, almost. It had been a recommendation with the weight of an order. Apparently, they felt that what Seven had done to him merited counseling. So he was in a standard, Starfleet gray office in Starfleet Medical once again talking to Counselor Colin Schmidt. The counselor had handled his case upon returning to the Alpha Quadrant and was thus familiar with his history.

  
  


"She practically raped you, Captain! Are you saying that it doesn't bother you?" Schmidt's voice was incredulous, as if he couldn't believe how calmly Chakotay was taking the latest blow.

  
  


Chakotay closed his eyes as he stopped moving, and swallowed, hard. "I'd be lying if I said it didn't, but this sort of thing has happened before; just another day in this Delta Quadrant."

  
  


"We've talked about that," Counselor Schmidt reminded him.

  
  


"Yes, we have. At least I didn't sleep with her. That would have made it a lot worse. Hell, Counselor, compared to some of the shit that was thrown at us on our journey, this is nothing--except it hurt Kathryn badly." He drew in a deep breath. "We had an unspoken agreement that Seven's meddling caused me to break. I badly need to find her and keep my promise."

  
  


"What was the promise?"

  
  


"A life together," Chakotay answered promptly. "I never would have even dated Seven if she hadn't messed with my mind. We barely spoke before and it was always about ship's business. Kathryn, though... I've been in love with her for the better part of eight years."

  
  


"Why so long? Were the two of you ever involved?"

  
  


"Protocol. And it turned out she was right because our relationship was picked apart when we returned home. But we'd adhered to the regs," his smile was tinged with bitterness. "Given the chance, I would have married Kathryn out there and told command to go screw themselves--only I would have used stronger language."

  
  


"So the two of you?" Schmidt gestured for him to continue.

  
  


"Best friends. I know her better than anyone. She knows I loved her, and she told me soon after we got home that she loves me, but Seven made it so I didn't really hear what she was saying. Because of Seven's meddling, I only heard mundane ship's business, not Kathryn asking if we could have a future together after we were no longer in the same chain of command." Chakotay shook his head. "That's the hell of this, Counselor. Kathryn offered me my dreams if I was willing to wait until after debriefing. If it weren't for Seven, I could have had it all--Kathryn, and a family with her. Hell, if Seven hadn't interfered, I'd have married Kathryn by now and we'd have a child on the way."

  
  


"You can't be sure of that," Schmidt said quietly.

  
  


"The hell I can't." Chakotay plopped down in the padded chair across from the counselor. "Have you ever met your other half? The person who just fits with you and fills all the broken and empty places in your soul? That's what Kathryn is to me. I never knew what love is until I met her. And keeping my hands to myself when it comes to her has been then most difficult thing I've ever done. Make no mistake about it, Counselor, we'd be expecting a child now if Seven had been spaced with the other drones."

  
  


"It's a possibility," the counselor acknowledged. "But it's equally possible that she could have turned you down."

  
  


Chakotay shook his head slightly. "No, it's not. Kathryn loves me. She told me so. You know, Jacob served seven years for Rachel and got Leah in her place." His voice was contemplative. "I just hope that Seven's meddling won't cost us another seven years."

  
  


Schmidt gave him a sharp glance. "I thought you weren't Christian or Jewish--it's not listed in your service record."

  
  


Chakotay shrugged. "Doesn't mean that I haven't read the Bible. It's great literature if nothing else." He glanced at Schmidt with a little smile on his face. "My service record may still say that I'm agnostic, but I've followed the ways of my people for many years now."

 

Schmidt cleared his throat and scrawled "cleared for duty" across the file. "You still are on leave. What are your plans now?"

  
  


"I'm going to do my best to find where Kathryn is hiding and talk her into marrying me, the way it should have been. And since she's on leave, too, I'm hoping that we can really have the honeymoon that I'm technically supposed to be on right now. Neither one of us took much in the way of leave after we got back. We have the time."

  
  


"Yes, you do." Schmidt smiled, stood and offered Chakotay his hand. "I hope I don't see you for a while, Captain. And good luck with your Admiral."

  
  


Chakotay stood as well and took the offered hand. "Thank you," he said simply, and then turned around and left the office. Kathryn's mother would most likely know where she was. Or Phoebe or even Sekaya. She'd also gotten closer to B'Elanna and Tom since they'd returned, and Owen Paris was almost a sure bet. And, well, her aide, now Petty Officer Tal would know where she could be reached as well. He just had to convince _them_ that he wasn't going to hurt her; and _that_ would take a lot of doing.

  
  


~*~*~*~

  
  


Chakotay shifted from foot to foot as he waited for Admiral Paris's aide to let him in. He'd gone through channels and made an appointment, but he knew that schedules could change and it was entirely possible he wouldn't be able to see Owen Paris at all. The petty officer had offered him a seat, but he couldn't settle. Neither Sekaya nor Phoebe would take his calls, and he'd also been unsuccessful at contacting Kathryn's mother. After what seemed an eternity, he was passed through into the Admiral's office.

  
  


"Captain Chakotay," Paris stood and offered his hand with a genial smile.

  
  


  
  


He shook Paris' hand and sat in the offered seat. "I'm hoping you can help me, Admiral," he said quietly.

  
  


"If I can, I'm happy to help my son's friends. I owe you and Katie for bringing my boy home to his mother and me."

  
  


Chakotay found the front of the desk to be fascinating. At least, it was more interesting to look at than the gray 'Fleet carpet on the floor. "I need to find Kathryn, Admiral Paris."

  
  


Paris's eyes hardened, and if he didn't know better, he'd think he was looking at two chips of ice. "Why should I tell you that?" he asked.

  
  


"Because I love her. Because if it weren't for what _she_ did, I would have married Kathryn right after the debriefing and change of command. Please, Admiral, I need to make this right. I need Kathryn like I need air." If he'd thought it would do any good, he would have gotten on his knees and begged.

  
  


Paris gave him a sharp nod. "Katie didn't tell me where she was going," he admitted, finally. "Her mother and stepfather know. I'm fairly confident Phoebe and your sister know as well."

  
  


Chakotay gave him a sharp look. "Kathryn never mentioned a stepfather."

  
  


"Gretchen remarried a few years ago," he stood and leaned towards Chakotay. "Theoderich Patterson isn't too fond of you right now. He's known Katie since she was born. He's her godfather as well as her stepfather."

  
  


"Admiral Patterson was assigned to helping us acclimate to the Alpha Quadrent," he said around the lump in his throat. "

  
  


"He fought me for that." Paris sat back down and leaned back in his chair. "He only won because his daughter was the Captain. I've never seen him prouder than at her promotion ceremony."

  
  


He hadn't gone to that. He'd been invited, but Seven had distracted him. "Please, sir, do you know how I can reach them? Tom and B'Elanna admit to knowing, but it's like talking to a stone wall. All they'll tell me is that her location is need-to-know, and I don't. I even went by the house in Indiana, but it looks like nobody lives there anymore."

  
  


A tiny smile crossed Paris' face. "It's Kathryn's house, now. Gretchen lives here in California and teaches at Berkeley and Phoebe and her family live on Mars." He reached into his desk, and pulled out paper and a pen, scribbled something down, and handed it over. "Good luck, son. Theo isn't going to give you an easy time of it. He's very protective of his girls."

  
  


Chakotay grinned widely. "Thank you, Admiral. I really can't thank you enough." He stood and came to attention. "If I may?"

  
  


"Dismissed, Captain, and good luck."

  
  


"Thank you again, sir." Chakotay hurried out of the room, practically running in an effort to get to his destination faster.

  
  


Owen Paris smiled and shook his head as he turned on his comm unit and pushed the comm code. "Theo? The eagle has landed. He's taken the bait and is on his way to your house."

  
  


Laughter was the response. "It's about damned time, Owen. I'll tell Gretchen and make damned sure he's serious. I swear, he hurts her again, I'll carve his heart out and feed it to him."

  
  


"You spend too much time with Klingons, Theo," he said with a snort.

  
  


"Your daughter-in-law _is_ Klingon," Theo retorted.

  
  


"Only half, and some days I'm shocked she hasn't ripped Tom's arm off and beaten him with it!"

  
  


"Welcome to parenthood," Theo said with a wry smile. "I understand Katie much better than Phoebe. I'll let you know how it goes, Owen. I'd better be prepared to go play the heavy to make sure Katie's Chakotay is serious."

  
  


Owen thumbed off the comm and leaned back in his chair again for a few minutes before he stood and began preparing to go home.

  
  


~*~*~*~

  
  


  
  


Kathryn tucked a foot under herself as she sat on the soft chaise. Idly, she scrolled up a few pages in the Klingon romance novel B'Elanna had given her. She was having trouble focusing because her mind kept replaying the article from the FedNews. Chakotay must be damned angry at what Seven did to him, but it didn't necessarily mean he would be coming for her.

  
  


She put the PADD down on the chaise and stood up. She just couldn't sit still. Purposelessly, she wandered out onto the lanai and leaned against the decorative railing to watch the sunset. Sunsets were something she'd always missed on Voyager, and the orange, pink and gold of Betazed's sunsets were particularly spectacular.

  
  


"Why so pensive, dear?" Lwaxana's voice interrupted her.

  
  


She turned around. Lwaxana was reclining on a chair with her damaged leg propped up. She held what Kathryn recognized as a Fed News PADD in her lap. "Have you read about what happened to my former first officer?" She asked neutrally.

  
  


She nodded. "Such a terrible thing to happen to him--and by the hand of your protégé, no less! Such _loyalty_ she has, to betray the ones who rescued her from her terrible fate!"

  
  


"Part of me wants to make excuses for her, but _damnit_ , she knows better!"

  
  


"Language, dear," Lwaxana corrected absently.

  
  


Kathryn repressed the urge to roll her eyes; Lwaxana Troi just had that effect on people. She knew she wasn't the only one who usually wanted to do the exact opposite of whatever advice Lwaxana offered. "It isn't the first time he's been controlled by someone else," she said instead. "The fallout from those incidents wasn't pretty."

  
  


"And you're afraid he won't ever be the same," She commented. "You're also afraid he won't want to see you." Kathryn shot her a startled look. "I wasn't reading you, dear--I spoke with your mother, lovely woman, earlier today, and your Chakotay is on the way aboard my rascal of a son-in-law's ship. They should be arriving tomorrow morning."

  
  


"And if I don't want to see him?" she asked sharply.

  
  


"Then I'll send him away, dear," she replied calmly. "But you and I both know you don't want that. If you're lucky, you meet your Imzadi in this life. It only happens once and if they're gone, you learn to content yourself with other, smaller loves. Deanna's father was mine and the time we had was much too short. If he fills all the broken and damaged places and the two of you fit together like nothing else, then Captain Chakotay is yours."

  
  


"He does," she admitted softly. "I didn't realize what was missing until the day he stepped onto my bridge."

  
  


Lwaxana grinned. "Let me know where we'll be hosting the wedding. Your mother and stepfather are catching the next transport."

  
  


Kathryn gaped at her. "You mean--"

  
  


"A traditional Betazoid ceremony, of course," she said with a smile and a languid wave of her hand. "We shall import flowers from the Janaran jungle, and my favorite caterer shall provide a _delicious_ repast for the reception. I'm only sorry there won't be time for most of your former crew to make it here, dear. Jean-Luc will be happy to perform the ceremony; I arranged it all this morning."

  
  


Kathryn wasn't exactly sure how to feel other than confused. "He hasn't asked me yet," she pointed out.

  
  


"He will," she smiled serenely. "A man doesn't beg his best friend's location from her mother. Nor does he tell the mother in question that he wants to marry her daughter and start making a family if he doesn't intend to propose."

  
  


Kathryn's eyes widened. "He told my _mother_ that?"

  
  


"Yes, he did." For all the universe, Lwaxana looked like the proverbial cat who got the cream. "Go to bed, dear. Tomorrow morning, make yourself pretty, and I shall have a picnic lunch prepared for you to take to Janaran Falls. It's a lovely spot for a proposal!"

  
  


"So..." she crossed her arms over her chest and frowned. "You've planned my wedding for _when_?"

  
  


"Next week, dear. My EMH will be happy to counter your contraceptive boosters if you wish. Both Gretchen and I would like grandchildren before we're too old to enjoy them!"

  
  


Kathryn's frown deepened into a scowl. "Did your EMH counter Deanna's?"

  
  


"Why the very idea! Besides, he wouldn't do it without her consent. Silly program just doesn't know that mother knows best." Lwaxana settled into her soft cushions with a beatific smile.

  
  


"That won't be necessary," she said stiffly. "I'm stationed on Earth and haven't been involved with anyone since my ex-finace."

  
  


"Well, then, dear, you should head off to bed so that you're fresh tomorrow. I have a hairdresser coming to do something with your hair. Most men prefer it long, you know."

  
  


Kathryn almost said something, but remembered Deanna's advice regarding her mother. Well, that and she knew that Chakotay had loved her long hair. She just sighed instead and bid Lwaxana goodnight and headed to the guestroom she'd been given. She wasn't quite sure how to react. Sure, the thought of marrying Chakotay was far from unpleasant, but a traditional Betazoid wedding was performed nude and wasn't exactly what she would have planned for herself. On the other hand, the two weddings she'd planned hadn't worked out at all. Perhaps, this time, it would be different. After all, this was she and Chakotay...

  
  


~*~*~*~

 

**_TBC.._ **

 


	3. Beginnings

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**Chapter 3:**

**Beginnings**

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

  
  


**"A soulmate is someone who has the locks to fit our keys, and the keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and for who we're pretending to be. Each of us unveils the best part of one another. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our paradise.”**
    
    
    **--Richard Bach**
    **~*~*~*~**

  
  


" _From: Admiral Theoderich Patterson, Utopia Planetia_

_To: VoyagerFamilyAssociation@starfleet.mil.gov_

_Cc: publicrelationsdepartment@starfleet.mil.gov_

  
  


_Gretchen and I would like to invite the Voyager crew to the wedding of Admiral Kathryn Janeway and Captain Chakotay next week on Betazed. Further details to follow. If you are active duty personnel and would like to attend, a TAD will be arranged aboard the Enterprise for the shakedown cruise to Betazed and back. Please note, Ambassador Lwaxana Troi has arranged a traditional Betazoid ceremony. Clothing is discouraged. "_

  
  


Owen Paris leaned back in his chair and laughed softly. "I  _knew_ it!" he murmured. Quickly, he fired back a message of his own, telling his old friend that he and his wife wouldn't miss Katie's wedding for the world. His next message was to Fleet Admiral Alynna Nechayev, asking if they could send as many of Voyager's former crew to Betazed for the wedding as possible. He reminded her of all the fantastic press this would generate for the 'Fleet and how much it was actually needed since the war.

  
  


Messages came back thick and fast, with Admiral Nechayev reminding him that a large section of the brass would probably like to be there, herself included. He referred her to Ambassador Troi, and then sat back with a relieved sigh before placing a call to his son.

  
  


"Dad?" Tom answered the comm call with a smile. Their relationship had improved over the past year, but sometimes, Owen still damned himself for wasting so much time.

  
  


"Did you get the message from Admiral Patterson?" he asked.

  
  


Tom nodded. "Good thing he's our boss--B'Elanna and I already put in our TAD requests. I'm a little concerned about childcare for the wedding, though. Miral isn't potty trained yet, and well, she's still breastfeeding. We don't want a repeat of what happened on that nude beach."

  
  


Owen laughed. He remembered that one. Eight-month-old Miral had been playing in the sand and must have gotten hungry, because she'd latched on to the nearest breast--and it hadn't been B'Elanna's. "The Voyagers have been having a baby boom," he commented. "I'll remind Ambassador Troi tomorrow that we'll need on-site child care."

  
  


Tom crossed his arms over his chest. "It's not fair, you know. We tried for seven years to get them together, and Mrs. Patterson and Ambassador Troi are marrying them off in two weeks! I'm not the only one who lost a lot of rations; the most popular bet we had was on them sucking face on the bridge within five minutes of our getting back home."

  
  


Owen scowled. "You can thank that Borg you rescued for that not happening."

  
  


"She's been a problem ever since we liberated her," he sighed. "The past couple years, we thought we'd finally made progress in turning her into a human being instead of a Borg automaton."

  
  


"Part of her sentence includes intensive therapy," Owen explained. "She'll have to earn even visitation rights, so none of you will be able to see her for a long time."

  
  


"Aside from the Doctor, I can't say most of us will mind. Seven didn't exactly go out of her way to make any friends, and she's not well liked," Tom said with a wry smile. "She did help us as much as hinder us, but still--"

  
  


"Sounds like she's pretty alone."

  
  


Tom just shrugged. "She made herself that way. Most of us are just relieved that Chakotay hasn't somehow lost his brains. He was acting almost brain dead when he was with her."

  
  


"I'd wondered," he snorted. "Katie said Voyager would have never made it back without him, but he never seemed as smart as she made him out to be."

  
  


He shook his head. "Seven made all of us look like idiots frequently and landed us in life-threatening danger more than once. I can't even count the number of times the Captain called her on the carpet."

  
  


"We're going to try and get as much of Voyager's old crew there as possible,Tom," he promised. "I'm betting the press will laud this as the love story of the century; it has all the hallmarks of a fantastic holonovel."

  
  


Tom laughed. "It does," he agreed, then looked back over his shoulder. "I'll see you on the Enterprise in three days," he added, and then signed off.

  
  


Owen sighed and sent a message to his wife. He just hoped Katie actually made it to the altar this time. She deserved much better than the cards life had dealt her thus far.

  
  


~*~*~*~

Chakotay resisted the urge to shift from foot to foot. He'd just been shown into a formal living room and was waiting to be noticed. The lady in question, Lwaxana Troi, was dressed in something sparkly, and her dark hair fell in a riot of curls on her shoulders. Her right leg was propped up in a sea of pillows as she perused a PADD. After a few more minutes she looked up. "Captain Chokobe," she began, "just why do you think I should allow you to see our Katie?"

  
  


"It's Chakotay, Ambassador Troi," he corrected quietly. "I want to see Kathryn because I love her."

  
  


Lwaxana scoffed at that. "Chakaten, I seriously doubt that. You broke her heart and she's starting to heal with us."

  
  


"It's Chakotay," he corrected again. "My mind had been altered, Ambassador. I've loved Kathryn for almost eight years now. Please, Mrs. Troi, tell me where I can find her!"

  
  


"Mr. Cokoboo, I have only her best interests at heart. Which is why I'm sure you'll understand when I tell you that the last thing Katie needs is to see the man who broke her." She folded her hands primly in her lap. "I'm sure you understand, but I will protect Gretchen and Edward's daughter as if she were my own. Even if it's from you."

  
  


He gave up her getting his name right. She was the Betazed Ambassador for spirit's sake! He knew she'd handled much harder names than his, so she was doing it on purpose. "What if I told you I have her mother's blessing?" he asked.

  
  


She raised an eyebrow. "And what of her stepfather, Chakanry?"

  
  


"Admiral Patterson approves of my plans," he said simply.

  
  


"And what, might I ask, are those, Chkenkety?"

  
  


"I'm going to marry her as soon as I can convince her," he smiled, hoping it would help.

  
  


She huffed a sigh. "Oh, very well, Chakotay." She held out a slip of paper. "She went on a picnic right after breakfast. She was talking about exploring the area around the falls."

  
  


He glanced at the paper and quickly memorized the coordinates. "Thank you, Ambassador," he said as he flashed her another wide smile. "If you'll excuse me, I have an Admiral to find."

  
  


"Of course, of course. Leave an old woman to languish on her own. I'm sure my children will be along shortly, before I die of loneliness!" She leaned back dramatically and laid the back of her hand against her forehead.

  
  


"Oh, no, Ambassador," he shook his head. "You're much too young to die from loneliness." He gave her a brilliant smile. "Much too young and beautiful, if you don't mine me saying so. I'm sorry I must go so soon, but, you see, I've loved Kathryn for eight years, and we've wasted too much time as it is."

  
  


Lwaxana gave him a surprised look. "You actually meant that," she murmured. "You're very refreshing, Captain. Now, go find your Kathryn and we will see each other again soon."

  
  


Chakotay inclined his head and left as quickly as he could without seeming rude. He hurried to the nearest transport station and handed over the paper. "Would you please transport me to these coordinates? It's urgent."

  
  


The attendant simply nodded and manipulated the controls for a couple minutes. Chakotay stepped onto the transporter pad and a few seconds later, materialized. He was surrounded by large trees, tangles of vines, fragrant flowers, and huge leaves. Unknown birds sang in the distance and the entire area was rife with plant and animal life. He looked around and finally spotted Kathryn laying on a blanket that was spread on the ground near a pool. She was reclining against a stack of pillows and reading a PADD with a large picnic hamper next to her.

  
  


"Kathryn?" He called softly.

  
  


She jerked, startled, and dropped her PADD. Her eyes widened at the sight of him and she sat up. "Chakotay?"

  
  


He took a few minutes to actually look at her. She was wearing a dress that showed off both her curves and her legs. Instead of the short bob she'd worn in the past few years, her hair was almost to her waist and styled in loose curls. He dropped to his knees on the blanket and reached for her hand. "I need to apologize for just about everything I said under Seven's control."

  
  


"It wasn't your fault, Chakotay. She turned you into a puppet." She took his hand and squeezed it.

  
  


Chakotay felt guilt pressing down on him. In a way, it was worse than the Teero incident. "She made me hurt you," he said as he swallowed hard. "She made me break my promise."

  
  


She glanced up at him through her eyelashes. "It was unspoken -- do you still want to keep that promise?"

  
  


"More than anything. I want us to raise a family, to grow old together. Is it too late, Kathryn?" He shifted closer to her and caressed the back of her hand with his thumb.

  
  


"No," she murmured. "I was planning on going to Medical and having my family without you."

  
  


"Not without me, Kathryn. Never again." He hesitated, then leaned in and kissed her softly.

  
  


Before he knew it, she was in his arms and he lost himself in the feel of her and the taste of her as she kissed him back. It was as if, after all his years of wandering, he'd finally found home. There was a rightness there that defied all description. One kiss led to another, and then another and another, until they finally came apart, gasping for air. "I love you," she murmured.

  
  


He ran his hand through her hair, enjoying the silky softness. "That's good, because I love you, too." He leaned his forehead against hers. "I don't remember anymore what it's like  _not_ to love you and be in love with you." 

  
  


She laughed breathlessly "I don't remember, either. Even when Seven made you break my heart, I loved you anyway."

  
  


Suddenly, he knew, just knew, that he had to make sure she knew that he would never permanently leave her. While he was still a Starfleet Captain, separations would be part of their life together, but he was in it for the long haul. "Marry me, Kathryn," he said impulsively. "If Seven hadn't interfered, I would have asked you to marry me last year."

  
  


  
  


"Yes," she nodded. "We might have already started our family." He kissed her again, holding her tightly to him. "I came here on the Titan. I can request a beam out and have Captain Riker marry us in ten minutes." 

  
  


  
  


She chuckled. "I'm afraid not. We've been outmaneuvered, Captain. I was informed last night that superior tacticians have won the day and we'll be getting married next week in a traditional Betazoid ceremony with or without our input."

  
  


He gave her an incredulous look. "What, exactly, do you mean?"

  
  


"My mother and Ambassador Troi have joined forces and planned our wedding for us. They've invited guests, and apparently next week, whether or not we like it, approximately half of Voyager's crew will be watching us get married au nautrale."

  
  


His eyes widened. "We're getting married  _naked_ ?" 

  
  


She smiled wryly. "Not my first, second, or third choice."

  
  


"We could do both," Chakotay suggested. "Get Captain Riker to marry us today, then go along with the highly embarrassing and public ceremony next week."

  
  


"How about ask him to beam down to us?" she suggested, gesturing to the surroundings. "Can you think of a better setting?"

  
  


"It's beautiful," he agreed and slapped his commbadge. "Chakotay to Riker."

  
  


"Riker here. What can I do for you, Captain?"

  
  


"Would you , please beam down here, Captain?" Chakotay asked. "We have a favor to ask." He stood up and pulled her with him.

  
  


"I'll be right there." A few seconds later, Will Riker appeared. "Admiral Janeway, Captain Chakotay," he said with a nod.

  
  


"Captain, we'd appreciate it if you would marry us," Kathryn said.

  
  


Riker cleared his throat. "Is that an order, Admiral? Because I've been invited to the ceremony next week, and I really do prefer to keep out of my mother-in-law's line of fire."

  
  


"It's a request, Will," she said softly. "We'll go through with the ceremony next week, but we want this just for us."

  
  


"It won't be legal without witnesses," Riker pointed out.

  
  


Chakotay shrugged. "Next week will be; it will also be highly public and embarrassing and as many of Voyager's crew that can get here will be seeing more of us than we'd like them to."

  
  


  
  


There was more than a hint of mischief in Riker's grin. "Some of the brass will be there, too, as well as press."

  
  


Kathryn groaned. "That's something I never wanted to see, and I swear, if any pictures are taken--"

  
  


"Relax, Kathryn, I just had to go through this; pictures will be before or after the ceremony, not during," Riker said hastily. "And yes, but you're going to have to explain this to Lwaxana. She's a strong telepath, so she'll know we did this." 

  
  


Chakotay shrugged indifferently. As long as he married Kathryn, he didn't really care who knew. And so it was they married in a standard Federation ceremony with the crash of the Janaran Falls in the background. Afterword, Will hailed Deanna. After a few short minutes of discussion, she beamed over, a picnic basket of her own slung over one arm. The four settled into a celebratory picnic. For that short period of time, it was absolutely perfect.

  
  


~*~*~*~

  
  


Kathryn wanted to scream. Every time. Every. Single. Damn. Time. Every time she and Chakotay were alone, they were interrupted. They'd been married for two days and they hadn't managed to share more than a couple kisses! She'd even attempted to sneak out and meet him, only to be met by Mr. Homm! So far, they had almost been forced to accept a chaperone to spend time together at all. At least, that's what it felt like. Dammit! She was in her forties and what she wanted to do more than anything was make love with her new husband, but they couldn't even seem to make it to second base!

  
  


It was incredibly frustrating. And she had once thought that _Tuvok's_ timing was bad! She strode out to the lanai, using every ounce of self-control not to scream. She plopped down into a chair, but she wasn't alone for long.

  
  


"She's doing it to you and Chakotay, too, isn't she?" Deanna's amused voice interrupted her thoughts. She crossed the lanai and sat down in one of the chairs.

  
  


"If you mean making sure that we can't spend any time together, you're right," Kathryn scowled and didn't understand why her friend seemed so amused by it all.

  
  


"Right after Will and I got married on Earth, the whole Romulan crisis happened, so our ceremony here had to be postponed. By the time we could go through with the traditional Betazoid ceremony, we'd already been married for over a month." Deanna smiled at her with mischief lighting her face. "Mother did the same thing to us; she just wouldn't allow us to spend any time alone until after the ceremony."

  
  


"I thought she wanted grandchildren," Kathryn grumbled. "At this rate, neither one of our mothers are getting any." She slumped down into the chair cushions. "She offered to have my boosters neutralized."

  
  


Deanna's smile said it all. "I talked her into getting an EMH a few years ago, and I heard her trying to convince him to deactivate mine _and_ Will's."

  
  


"Spirits help us if your mother and my mother end up best friends." Kathryn moodily picked at a button embedded in a cushion.

  
  


Deanna laughed. "Heaven help Starfleet Command, you mean. They'll terrorize the Admiralty into submission!"

  
  


"So... ever wanted to be Captain, Deanna? I bet they'd promote you just to get rid of your mother." Kathryn laughed merrily.

  
  


"It took me a long time to convince Mother to butt out of my career. Don't give her any ideas, Kathryn Janeway!" She said flippantly. "Now, back to your problem... seducing your husband..."

  
  


Kathryn frowned. "We leave, we offend your mother, we stay, we'll never be alone."

  
  


"A trip to the art museum in the capitol and dinner afterwards?" Deanna suggested.

  
  


She leveled a glare at her. "I'm willing to bet she'll send an escort," she grumbled.

  
  


"Well.." Deanna began teasingly, "I'm sure I can convince her to send Will and me, and we have no problem with letting you two have some time together."

  
  


Kathryn raised an eyebrow. "Won't she know what you're planning?"

  
  


"Not if I don't let her in." Deanna smiled. "Telepathic race, remember? We're taught to shield early to preserve our own sanity and it's considered terribly rude to peek without permission. Eavesdropping is one thing; non-telepaths tend to shove thoughts into your face, and there's kind of a... pre-echo of what people are about to say, or so I've been told. I'm not strong enough to pick up that much most of the time."

  
  


She frowned. "You told me some of this once.."

  
  


Deanna waved it away. "Years ago. I wasn't sure if you remembered; we were both Lieutenants then, after all. Anyway, I'm fairly sure I can convince Mother to let Will and me escort you."

  
  


"An afternoon won't be long enough," she responded dryly. "What you're proposing sounds like shore leave when we were on Voyager."

  
  


Deanna just smiled serenely. "So... being interrupted before you can kiss him, or shore leave. Which is it?"

  
  


"Shore leave it is, then," she said with a sigh. "I should have beamed up to the Titan and gotten Will to marry us there and taken advantage of Chakotay in his quarters."

  
  


Deanna laughed. "What makes you think you'd have had the chance? Will was under orders to say no if you tried to elope."

  
  


"Dammit," she muttered. She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her thighs. "I just can't win."

  
  


"In a week, you _do_ win. It'll even be legal so he's yours after that. And after you're married, Mother won't be trying to chaperone you anymore just to be annoying." She leaned back, seemingly enjoying her friend's discomfiture.

  
  


"So all of this is..."

  
  


"Amusement for Mother. She enjoys making people uncomfortable, shocking people, and all around annoying them." She paused for a moment. "It's something like a sport to her. I can't even count the number of times she got under Captain Picard's skin."

  
  


Kathryn sighed and shook her head. "A week. Only a week. Phoebe sent me a vacation package to Tahiti. She said it was an early wedding present from her and Sekaya."

  
  


"Much better than mine," Deanna allowed. "We were on our way to the neutral zone instead of a honeymoon."

  
  


"I suppose it could be worse. We could still be in the Delta Quadrant, and I could be officiating the ceremony for Seven and him." Kathryn shook her head. "It happened in the other timeline; it could have easily happened here."

  
  


"Then things are as they should be," Deanna said quietly.

  
  


"Yes," she agreed. "Frustration aside. It didn't kill us on Voyager and it won't kill us here. Things are just as they should be." Just the knowledge that Chakotay was hers had gone a long way towards soothing the hurt that the past year had caused. What helped even more was the knowledge that he hadn't been acting of his own volition with Seven. Some of the best conversations she'd ever had with anyone had been with him.. and all without saying a word. There was a peace in his presence, a feeling of rightness, that she'd never experienced with anyone else. A week wasn't really that long, after all.

  
  


~*~*~*~

  
  


Lieutenant Harry Kim sat on the thankfully, padded chair at what was being touted by the press as the, "Wedding of the Century." "Is it just me or does anyone else find this whole thing... unsettling?"

  
  


"Harry, Harry, Harry," Tom said, shaking his head. "I never took you for a prude!"

  
  


"It's just... I'm not comfortable with so many people wearing nothing." Harry said with a frown. "And seeing the Captain naked, well, it just doesn't seem right."

  
  


"And how many cultures did we make first contact with that included ceremonial nudity, Starfleet?" B'Elanna asked idly. "Hell, there are a few Klingon rituals that require it!"

  
  


"Look, we've all been through similar ceremonies and because I was dragged to a few when I was a kid, I've even been to Betazoid weddings," Tom began. "Which would be worse, being one naked body in a room of naked bodies or be the only one wearing clothes?"

  
  


Harry gulped. "It'd be worse to stand out," he muttered finally.

  
  


"It's not so bad, Harry," B'Elanna said comfortingly. "At least there's childcare available so we don't have to deal with the consequences of Miral without a diaper."

  
  


Tom snorted. "Now that she's mobile, I wouldn't want to deal with the mess. Diapers are bad enough."

  
  


"It's just, seeing the Captain--"

  
  


"Focus on their faces," Tom suggested. "When I was twelve, I would've loved to see her naked, but she's like an older sister to me now."

  
  


"I guess I can try," said Harry doubtfully.

  
  


"Trust me, Harry," Tom said. "You don't want to see  _most_ of these people naked. Generally speaking, people look better with clothes." 

  
  


Harry flushed. "I never thought they'd go for a Betazoid wedding."

  
  


B'Elanna snorted. "When your family and the Betazed Ambassador ambush you with a wedding, you're not exactly able to say no. You go along with it and show up so you don't cause a diplomatic incident."

  
  


They lapsed into silence as more people filed in, sitting down on padded chairs. Fully half of the crew had made it, as well as a large chunk of the Admiralty. The large chapel was warm--too warm for dress uniforms, but okay in their less-than-clothed state--and bedecked in a large assortment of white flowers. The perfume hung heavy in the air. It was more noisy than most weddings held there, because the majority of the guests were offworlders. Soon, attention focused on the front of the chapel, where Captain Picard was standing in with a clergyman with a long scroll between them. A large gong sounded, and a hush fell over the crowd.

  
  


The wedding party entered from one side, with Sekaya pulling on Chakotay's arm, seemingly trying to get him to stop. He ignored her, putting one foot in front of another towards the middle of the room. When his cousin stepped in front of him, he pushed him aside continuing to the center of the room and stopping in front of Picard. He turned expectantly as Gretchen and Admiral Patterson entered, with her sobbing dramatically into her husband's shoulder. Every so often, she raised her head to wail at the unfairness of it all, and it was obvious to Voyager's crew that not only was the Captain's mother enjoying herself immensely, but that was where their Captain's acting skills had come from.

  
  


Naomi Wildman bounced in, seemingly unconcerned by her lack of attire, a huge smile on her face. She was followed by Deanna Riker, who stepped aside and gestured to the Captain. "I summon you to the place of marriage," she said in a loud, clear voice. Kathryn stepped forward, her hair longer than it had been since Seska had marooned them on the planet. It tumbled loosely down her back past her waist, and a white headband held it away from her face. If there were any gray in it, nobody in the crowd could see it. She took Chakotay's hand and they faced Picard with smiles on their faces. The words that came next were unimportant. The emotions between the two were almost palpable, even for the ungifted and a few of the Betazoids in attendance had tears running down their faces. None of the trappings of a traditional Terran ceremony were present, none of the traditions of Chakotay's people or even Starfleet. And yet... It seemed right somehow. It was almost as if they'd wed on the journey; as if they'd found a culture with compatible laws on the way home. Only this was better, because the families that had been left behind were in attendance.

  
  


It seemed as if no more than a minute or two had passed before the guests were filing out of the chapel into the changing room. The reception was held in the garden outside and they were joined by the wedding party, who were now dressed. Naomi danced and twirled excitedly, showing off a pretty, new dress and shiny shoes. "I suppose it could have been worse," Harry muttered.

  
  


B'Elanna smacked his shoulder. "Telarius IV was worse," she commented.

  
  


"Much, much worse," Tom agreed as he nodded towards the Captain. "I bet she would have rather been dressed something like that for the ceremony."

  
  


Harry turned to see his former captain in an ivory lace slip dress that fell slightly past her knees. "So did anyone win this betting pool?"

  
  


Tom grinned. "Tuvok did. Oh, the rations I could've gotten from that one!"

  
  


"C'mon, Tom. 'Fess up. We converted it into credits last year," B'Elanna asserted. "Tuvok donated it to the rebuilding efforts of the border colonies."

  
  


"Good cause," Harry said quietly. Soon, the trio split up, circulating the garden. Pictures were taken of the wedding party, and they'd also been pulled aside to speak with Jake Sisko for FedNews. He spent the time talking to old shipmates he hadn't seen for months and eventually ended up at a table where a dark-haired woman with her leg propped up sat with the Captain's mother and Chakotay's sister.

  
  


The unmarried women were congregating near the Captain, and he watched as she shot the headband over them and Susan Nicoletti caught it. "Is that like catching a bouquet?" he asked idly.

  
  


"Something like that, dear," the dark haired woman said as she gestured towards a seat.

  
  


"Sit down." Obediently, he sat and was drawn into their conversation.

  
  


"So how soon do you think we'll get grandchildren, Lwaxana?" Gretchen asked with a triumphant smirk. "After all, this little plot of ours worked so well!"

  
  


Lwaxana's answering smile had a hint of evil in it. "Your new son-in-law deactivated his boosters last week and your daughter isn't taking them."

  
  


"And yours?" Gretchen asked.

  
  


Lwaxana sighed. "I've despaired for years of my Little One ever becoming a mother," she disclosed. "We'll just have to wait and see, because it'll be at least another fifteen to twenty years before my baby is old enough to think of family."

  
  


"I've waited for years to see my Katie this happy," Gretchen murmured. "Somehow I think she and Chakotay fit better than she did with Mark or Justin."

Harry made idle conversation for a few minutes before excusing himself to find the Captain and Commander to congratulate them. He ate rather too much, absently snagging various canapes as they circulated and stuffing them into his mouth. He didn't find the couple anywhere, so they'd obviously sneaked out. The evening wound to a close soon afterwards, and it wasn't long before he, with the rest of the TAD personnel, were heading to the beam out site, while quietly chatting about the wedding.

  
  


~*~*~*~

  
  


Kathryn stretched languidly, still tired from their long night of lovemaking. She was sore in places she'd almost forgotten existed, but it had been more than worth it. At that moment, she'd be willing to swear before any court in the galaxy that the past eight years had been worth it just for the past twenty-four hours. Without conscious thought, she kissed the warm, smooth chest she as laying against and snuggled closer. This was the real homecoming; this was where she belonged.

  
  


"Any regrets?" Chakotay asked, with his eyes still at half-mast and his hair tousled from sleep

  
  


. "That we didn't do this years ago," she murmured.

  
  


He grinned widely. "We could have," he agreed cheerfully. "Making up after we fought would've been a hell of a lot more fun!" He kissed her softly and before conscious thought fled yet again, she allowed herself a moment to give thanks to whomever might be listening that her best friend, husband, lover, and hopefully someday soon, the father of their children was now hers.

  
  


End.

 


End file.
